Jesus, Lincoln and a smurf walk into a bar...

'Twas the night before, the night before christmas and all through the streets, all the hipsters were walking finding finding places to meet. The metalheads communed down a dark little street in hopes that Lord Baronaxe would turn up the heat....

Ok so enough of that rhyimg stuff, it really is too hard. The point is i recently went to the Claim The Throne Maximum Metal Xmas and, well, this is what i have to say about that. Before i get the the bands though, id just like to take a moment to bitch and whine about the security grinch at the door that night. I made myself a fucking mazing Claim The Throne santa jacket (if i do say so myself) only to find out at the door that christmas cheer isnt part of the dress code. Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK!!! Apparently it was far too red, its safe to say that this man was a dick. But now that I've had my little whinge, lets get on with the show.

the jacket in question

The gig was comprised completely of local acts, the first of which being thrashers Cold Fate. To be honest, i wasnt expecting too much from these guys at first. The last time i saw them i was so bored i was yawning in the moshpit,  but this time it was very different. I dont know if it was the different atmosphere or what it was at all but i found myself really liking the show this time. It was purely and simply jus old school thrash, it was fast, it was loud and it made you want to bang your head furiously. Now forgive me if im wrong, but this is everything a thrash band should be, so this time i take my hat off to Cold Fate and hope to see them again.

Next on the bill was Sensory Amusia, another band id seen before with a lack lustre performance but for me this time it didnt change. Now dont get me wrong, i think for the most part these guys are talented. The singer can sing and the guitar riffs are downright brutal but there's just one element of this band that completely throws me off; the drummer. The man sounds like he play with 3 arms! But before u start thinking to yourself "that sounds like a good thing" let me just tell you im quite sure the 3rd arm has learning difficulties because it is completely off beat. Otherwise the drumming would be amazing too but theres this little bit of extra to his drumming that drives me insane, so i walked off and sat down.

Number 3 on the lineup was Nails of Imposition. I've never been much into death metal but i liked these guys. They're never going to be my first choice of band to listen to or go to see but if theyre playing I'll listen. The thing that has to be said about this band, is the fans are insane (in the best way possible) the mosh pit was incredible. I couldnt tell if this was down to the front man, the music or just the fans but the end result was something akin to bumper cars without the cars, when i metioned this to my mate his response was "id say its more like carmageddon". What im getting at is the fans were losing there respective shit in the pit and i gotta say its not my cup of tea but i respect that and it was fun to watch.

So finally we come to the pièce de résistance Claim The Throne. I wont lie, its hard for me to do an unobjective review of this band and this show because I FUCKING LOVE THIS BAND!!!! But lets see how we go. By now anyone reading this is probably wondering "what the fuck is up with that title" well we'll get to that here. The band came on stage in all there costumed glory. Frontman Lord Baronaxe (brendan) came on stage dressed as jesus. Bassist Lord Jim came on stage as what could only be described as a very metal looking Abe Lincoln. Drummer Ash looked like he may have been a mexican chuch norris but honestly i dont know. The highlights of this costume parade where guitarist Dysie dressed as a very revealing smurf, from waist up all blue. Best of all being keyboardist Jesslina dressed as bassist Jim complete with fake tattoos and a tinsel beard. Having said that, as amazing as this all was, itz not what we were all there for so lets get on with the music.

The set started, as so often a Claim set does, with an almost completly instrumental song just to set the mood but then straight onto They Shall Live On. I personally think this is a great song to start on because it shows off everyone in the band dysie can show of his guitars, brendan can show of his singing, Jim can show off his death growl and ash gets to drum hard and fast. But best of all, in my opinion, in the midst of it all the song breaks down into a beautifull keyboard solo by jess which i always enjoy. The great thing about watching these guys is even while playing fast and loud they still just have fun and as a result the crowd is always in for a good time too. The set was well rounded, some fast some slow, some old and even a brand spanking new song. The song The World Grows Dull was fucking excellent, as fast and furious as the weather that inspired it. One thing I love about local bands is if you get along with them cool shit happens. I had the songs Plundersaga/Of Meed & Weed dedicated to me/santa. When playing The Lake (my personal favourite) my name was substituted into the lyrics, even tho it made no sense what so ever it was still fucking epic! And best of all in the midst of all of jess' fake tattoos was a little square saying "I love amos" which was pure win! As i said its always gonna be hard for me to review these guys in an unbiased fashion 'cos they are just too fucking awesome all i can say is if you ever get the chance to see these guys dont dick around just do it and you wont regret it.

Jess' fake tattoo

Claim setlist and Baronaxe pick

So in closing it was a good night of christmas cheer and mad fans and in all fairness its tha fans that so often Maketh the show. Before I leave you all I'd also just like to wish Claim The Throne all the best of luck with there upcoming tour of the UK with Alestorm and to tell the rest of you to get off ur asses and go see this band before they become fucing huge!

Anyways, as always. Metal on my friends

The Oompa Loompa

A Night Of Horror

So last night was a gig with an awesome line-up, all of which horror inspired. First of which was perth's own Reapers Riddle. This is a band i have been meaning to see for 4 long years so I watched with high hopes that it would be worth the wait and it really was. Now being the first band is never easy, most of the crowd hasnt turned up and those who have didnt come to see you so many arent interested. On top of that Reapers Riddle were in the interesting situation of being a metal band playing for a very punk crowd. Nonetheless Reapers Riddle, aside from trying hard to get the crowd to join them up front, they really didnt let it effect them and played on. I loved there songs like Zombified and the amusing Steel Panther-esque No Strings Attached. They had there set backs such as having to take a break mid set to change guitars, but hey thats what you get when you dont have a roadie. One thing I've got to mention that really impressed me is seeing there drummer break his brand new drumstick in half after only 30 minutes.

Reapers Riddle drumstick

Next on the bill was another perth band, Chainsaw Hookers. I've seen these guys 3 times now and, frankly, they never disapoint. I've always thought if motorhead were a little more punk they would sound allot like Chainsaw Hookers. As you may have allready assumed Chainsaw hookers play horror themed music, it's not quite rock n' roll, its not quite punk its somewhere in between. In there words its "blood rock". Once again the crowd wasnt big but it was growing and Chainsaw Hookers helped that growth.  They started the set with my personal favourite My Revenge and from then on the only time they slowed down was to interact with the audience in the friendly personal way there fans know and love. Chainsaw hookers weren't without there share of set backs tho but even when things fucked up they didnt stop. At one point the drummer had one of his drums fall away from the kit, he didnt stop he just made do untill he could fix it. By the time these guys finished playing the crowd had really built up and they were loving it.

Chainsaw Hookers setlist

Chainsaw Hookers drumstick, picks and johnny

Jerry after the gig

Misfits pre-show

Dez's Pick

Finaly we got to the main event; the Misfits who started the show by anouncing "this is gonna be an old fashioned punk show". They werent lying, the moment they came on stage the crowd just lost its shit and the pit was intense. Misfits started the set with one from the new album, the title track, Devils Rain. The setlist was a excellent mix of old and new including classics like Halloween, some newer stuff such as Descending Angel and some brand new songs of the new album. My personal favourite was Skulls when the crowed was inviting to sing along and they did too it was just awesome. Now i'll be honest, i was not expecting much from this band tho given they only have one original member left, vocalist and bass player Jerry Only and he's not even the original vocalist. But this didnt have as much of a negative effect as i thought it would, the band played with pure energy. The only let down was some of Danzigs songs were avoided for this reason so i didnt get  to hear my favourite misfits song Last Caress which was a shame but hey, shit happens. New drummer Eric Arce did great justice to the songs and so did the, also quite new, guitarist Dez Cadena. The set ran for a good hour and a half concluding with the enevitable Die Die My Darling and for one last song the crow went absolutely nuts. But alas all good things must come to an end and since the band had a flight at 5am the next day they had to leave us but this did not stop any of them from meeting the fans and hanging out for a while allthough the crowd was generally hanging around Jerry.

In conclusion it was a great night with just fast powerfull awesome music. It was not one of the most memorable gigs ive ever been to but regardless it was pretty fucking awesome.
So to any one reading this metal on my friends.
The Oompa Loompa